Why did the chicken cross the road? – II

IIM aspirant: Because it wanted to broaden its horizons and utilize its core competencies to make a difference to the poultry world.

Facebook addict: Join the community “Bring the chicken back!!!! If We get 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 members FACEBOOK will RESTORE THE CHICKEN TO THIS SIDE!!!”

Twitter addict: LOLOL RT @chicken Now on other side of the road. This is awesome. omg!!! #otherside

Orkut addict: hi chicken u look nice on othr side, add me as ur frnd.

Online commenter: Fake. If you notice carefully, the chicken never really crosses the road.

Grad student: Because the other side had free food?

Readers, anyone else you want us to pose this million-Z$ question to?

 

 

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Sonia Gandhi: Because its inner voice told it to

Manmohan Singh: Because Sonia Gandhi told it to

LK Advani: WHEEEEZE…

Ravi Shastri: Make no mistake, crossing the road did its confidence a world of good. It could have also taken the aerial route.

Sunil Gavaskar: Why is this question being raised? Only because it is an Indian chicken? Why did Umpire Steve Bucknor look the other way when the Australian chicken crossed the road?

Barkha Dutt: Yes, the BJP has a lot to answer for.

Sagarika Ghose: Type QOTD Y for Yes and QOTD N for No

Sachin Tendulkar: The chicken did it for the team. Crossing the road is a team sport. If the team demands that the road be crossed, the chicken will do it.

[This post will be updated soon. Additions in the pipeline]

Light bulb jokes redux

Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Did you say change? *drool*

Q: How many Facebook users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 4 million and one. One to change the bulb, 2 million to take the quiz “What kind of a light bulb are you?”, 1 million to join the “Bring the old light bulb back” group, 1 million to create tag portraits of their friends as different types of light bulbs (Neon nerd, Dim-wit, red hot…)

Q: How many Twitter users does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Whatever they can fit inside 140 characters.

Q: How many Bengalis does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. All light bulbs moved to Gujarat.

A’: None. Everyone’s on strike.

Q: How many Indian journalists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The entire posse. One to change the bulb, the rest to blame the BJP for communalising the issue.

Q: How many UPA ministers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The entire cabinet – to discuss a National Rural Light Bulb Change Act – and reserve 49.5% for backward light bulbs.

Q: How many Muslims does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change the bulb, one to check if changing light bulbs is legal in the Koran, one to blow up the person who changed it and one to protest that Islam stands for peaceful change of light bulbs.

A: Two. One to change the light bulb, and one to lament how difficult it is for Muslims to find a light bulb in Mumbai.

Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The old light bulb comes back after three days.
A’: Ten. One to change the light bulb in the darkness and nine to witness the miracle.
A”: Two. One to buy the light bulb, and another to proselytize the bulb vendor to Christianity.

Q: How many Hindus does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One.
A’:Sixteen million.
A”: No no, actually they are all only one.
A”’:Actually the light bulb is an illusion.
A””:No wait,…

[More later of course]